Who Is Reponsible for the Illegitimacy Explosion?

On February 17, 2012, Jason DeParle and Sabrina Tavernise of the New York Times write, Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage, advertising what we all know: that the opinion makers in our country have become increasingly tolerant of, even apologetic about, what “used to be called illegitimacy.” They describe it as, “the new normal,” failing to differentiate the statistical norm from the ideal norm. In some neighborhoods, drug abuse is the statistical norm. Would the New York Times call that “the new normal” too?

De Parle and Tavernise cite some statistical facts:

Percentages by Race of Children Born to Unmarried Mothers: black children, 73%; Latinos, 53%; whites, 29%

Percentages of Women Married at the Time of Their Child’s Birth According to Mothers’ Level of Education: college-educated women, 92%; women with some post-secondary schooling, 62%; women with a high school diploma or less, 43%.

“Researchers have consistently found that children born outside marriage face elevated risks of falling into poverty, failing in school or suffering emotional and behavioral problems.”

Armed with that data, the authors spin it to their purpose which is either to directly state or imply that poverty is responsible for illegitimacy, and, therefore, for the misery that out-of-wedlock children and society often suffers. The failure is our collective failure rather than any shortcoming of irresponsible mothers and fathers. Consider the following statement by De Parle and Tavernise: “Amber Strader, 27, was in an on-and-off relationship with a clerk at Sears a few years ago when she found herself pregnant.”

Found herself pregnant? How did that happen? Did she find herself deciding to have unprotected sex, find herself looking for a place to have unprotected sex, find herself enjoying unprotected sex, and, no doubt, find herself having subsequent unprotected sex?

If you and I had only acted more socially responsibly, Amber never would have become pregnant, and her illegitimate child would have had a better chance to realize the American Dream.

The New York Times article fails to acknowledge that America has included poor and/or uneducated citizens since its inception. Instead, it quotes University of Pennsylvania sociologist, Frank Furstenberg: “Marriage has become a luxury good.” The Times, apparently, does not realize that heretofore poor people always have been able to “afford” marriage. The cost is not financial but moral, the mores of sexually consenting individuals, their families of origin, and their communities.

And, as for education, the correlation with out-of-wedlock motherhood is presented as though it is a direct consequence of poverty, that poor “folks” cannot get a proper education and, therefore, “get" pregnant. Could it be that responsible women are more likely to stay in school, that they have the intelligence and self-control necessary to make the sensible choices required to wait for marriage before having unprotected sex?

De Parle and Tavernise inadvertently touch on the central issue concerning illegitimate births when they write, “Ms. Strader said her boyfriend was so dependent that she had to buy his cigarettes. Marrying him never entered her mind. ‘It was like living with another kid,’ she said.”

The authors choose not to interview a single father of illegitimacy. To do so, they would have to hunt the father down, probably at the basketball court or corner hangout, and they would have run the risk of being called prejudiced. In fact, the Times piece does not offer a single statement about absconding impregnating males.

The irresponsible male has learned that only a fool marries the casual sex object that he impregnates. He even has a word to describe her: “baby momma.” Why incur life-long commitment to a woman or child merely for having a good time? Better to let society accept responsibility, blame, and guilt for the consequences of casual sex. The perpetrator always can depend on the New York Times in his attempt to project blame onto you, me, and our country.