January 4, 2025 is the 60th anniversary of my arrival at Marine Corps Depot, Parris Island, South Carolina for the onset of a 4-year USMC active enlistment. In thinking about that, I reflect upon the fact of my lingering Marine identity, and what it might suggest about identities in general. Let’s start with my, admittedly bizarre, experience in Spain when vacationing there a few years ago. The incident occurred while I was waiting for a bus at a crowded stop. A stranger with a heavy Scottish accent walked up to me and said, “You were a Marine.” In total shock, I asked, “How did you know?” to which he replied, “I worked as a civilian on a Marine base for 20 years. You all wear your hat the same way.” I never had thought about hat-wearing as significant or even noteworthy. At the time, mine was a plain baseball cap with no logo or words whatsoever. My best guess is that the distinctive feature was do to the facts that I wore the hat tight to my head, pulled close to my eyebrows, and that I had squeezed the visor into a virtual semicircle. Only days later did I recall one and only one Marine-relevant fact—that my boot camp drill instructor did require us to measure two fingers above our eyes as the resting point for our “covers” [hats]. So, six decades later, I continue to unconsciously imitate behavior acquired in a long-gone context.
We all share my Scotsman’s proclivity for interpreting identity based upon superficial appearances. Imagine walking into a bustling café, the hum of conversations filling the air, and taking a seat at a corner table. Without exchanging a single word with anyone, you begin to notice the people around you. A man in a tailored suit sips his espresso while glancing at his tablet. A young woman with brightly dyed blue hair and a collection of pins on her backpack sketches in a notebook. Across the room, a couple wearing matching workout gear share a smoothie after what looks like a rigorous morning run. Each person is silently telling a story about who they are, using the subtle language of nonverbal cues and personal presentation.
Clothing is often the first thing that catches your eye. It’s not just fabric and stitching—it’s a form of communication. The man in the suit might be signaling professionalism or the importance of his role at work, while the young woman’s vibrant style and unique accessories suggest creativity and an alignment with subcultures or causes she’s passionate about. Traditional garments, like a hijab or kente cloth, may express cultural heritage or a deep connection to personal identity. Each choice, whether intentional or subconscious, reveals something about the wearer’s world.
Next, you notice how people carry themselves. The man in the suit sits upright, exuding confidence, his movements deliberate and measured. The young woman leans over her sketchbook, her shoulders slightly hunched, perhaps signaling intense focus or introversion. Body language is a powerful communicator of emotions and personality. A relaxed stance with open gestures can suggest approachability, while crossed arms and a downward gaze may hint at discomfort or defensiveness.
The café patrons’ physical appearances also provide subtle clues. Age lines on a face might hint at life experience, while ethnic features or hair texture can reflect ancestral heritage. The couple in matching workout gear, with their toned physiques, likely share a commitment to health and fitness, which might even be a cornerstone of their relationship.
Your attention might be drawn to the young woman’s arm, adorned with intricate tattoos. Each design seems deliberate, like pieces of a puzzle telling a deeply personal story. Tattoos and body modifications often reflect significant life events, cultural affiliations, or deeply held values. Whether it’s a small, minimalist design or a full sleeve of vivid imagery, these marks are windows into the wearer's personal journey.
If you observe further, even grooming habits become part of the narrative. The man’s neatly combed hair and polished shoes might reflect a lifestyle of precision and order, while the woman’s bold blue hair and artistic vibe could signify rebellion against convention or a creative spirit. Makeup choices—whether bold or understated—also serve as a canvas for self-expression.
As I often do, it’s time for me to emphasize the role of context in determining your observations. In a café like this, you might guess that the suited man is a busy professional taking a break from his workday. The sketching woman could be an art student or a freelancer finding inspiration. The couple in workout gear might have just come from a nearby gym, prioritizing health and shared routines. Where people are and what they’re doing often provides a frame for understanding their identity.
Although silent cues are intriguing, it’s important to approach them with sensitivity and humility. While appearances offer clues, they don’t tell the whole story. People are complex, and their identities are multi-layered, often defying easy categorization. Behavior always is multi-determined. The man in the suit might be heading to a job interview rather than a board meeting. The young woman with the blue hair might be an introvert finding her voice through art. Identity assumptions, even well-intentioned ones, are always provisional hypotheses that need to be supported or refuted.
